Fun Center

Funny Sardar Ji Jokes

- Sardar ji is buying a TV
“Do you have color TVs?”
“Sure.”
“Give me a green one, please.”

- Sardar Ji calls Air India.
“How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?”
“Just a sec,” says the rep.
Thank you.” says the Sardar ji and hangs up.

- Sardar ji is filling up a job application
He promptly fills in the lines on NAME, AGE, ADDRESS, etc.
Then came the column SALARY EXPECTED
After much thought he writes: Yes

- Sardarji goes into a store and sees a shiny object.
He asks the clerk, “What is that shiny object?”
The clerk replies, “That is a Thermos flask.”
The Sardar asks, “What does it do?”
The clerk responds, “Keeps hot things hot and cold things cold.”
The Sardar says, “I’ll take it!”
The next day, he walks into work with his new Thermos.
His Sardar boss sees him and asks, “What is that shiny object with you?”
He said, “It’s a Thermos flask.”
The boss asks, “What does it do?”
He replies, “Keeps hot things hot and cold things cold.”
The boss said, “Wow, what do you have in it?”
The Sardar replies, “Two cups of coffee and a coke.”

- Sardarji fixed an answering machine at home.
Two days later he disconnected it because he was getting complaints
like “Saala phone utha ke bolta hai ghar pe nahin hai.”

- What does Sardarji do after taking photocopies?
He compares it with the original for spelling mistakes.

- What does Sardarji do when he has one white sheet and wants an extra
sheet?
He makes a photocopy of the white sheet.

- There was a meeting of all the Surd freedom fighters.
They were planning for a free Punjab. Santa Singh raised a point,
“Oh…we’ll take Punjab from India but how would we develop it?”
That was a tough one indeed. Banta Singh had a brainwave…
“No problem! We’ll attack Amrika, it would take over us and then
we would become a State of USA and develop automatically.”
All the surds became happy with this very simple solution but an old surd
was not. Someone asked him why he wasn’t happy.
The old surd replied, “THAT’S ALL VERY WELL…WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF BY CHANCE
WE TOOK OVER AMRIKA???”

- Sardarji went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain.
“I would like to buy this small TV,” he told the salesman.
“Sorry, we don’t sell to Sardars,” he replied.
He hurried home removed his turban and changed his hair style, and returned
to tell the salesman
“I would like to buy this TV.”
“Sorry, we don’t sell to Sardars,” Salesman replied.
“Damn, he recognised me,” he thought.
He went for a complete disguise this time, haircut, new hair colour,
new outfit, big sunglasses, waited a few days, saw the salesman again.
“I would like to buy this TV.”
“Sorry, we don’t sell to Sardars,” he replied.
Frustrated, he exclaimed, “How do you know I’m a Sardar?”
“Because that’s a microwave,” he replied.

- Why did Sardars go to a movie?
Because below was not allowed.

- How do you measure Sardarji’s intelligence?
Stick a tire pressure gauge in his ear

- Sardarji proposes to a woman. She says yes if you bring me a pair of crocodile boots. He sets off to Africa and disappears. Finally a search is being made, they find him hunting crocodiles and watch him killing a huge one. He walks over the reptile, checks its legs and angrily exclaims “st and *again* barefoot!”

- What do you do when a Sardar throws a hand grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

- What do you do when a Sardar throws a pin at you? Run like crazy….he’s got a hand grenade in his mouth.

- How do you make a Sardar laugh on Saturday? Tell him a joke on Wednesday.

- What is the Sardar doing when he holds his hands tightly over his ears? Trying to hold on to a thought.

- Why do Sardars work seven days a week? So you don’t have to re-train them on Monday.

- Why can’t Sardars make ice cubes? They always forget the recipe.

- How did the Sardar try to kill the bird? He threw it off a cliff.

- What do you call Sardars standing ear to ear? A wind tunnel.

- A Sardar sees lot of guys running on the highway. Asks a bystander as to why’re the guys doing what they’re doing. The bystander: A Marathon race is going on
Sardar: What do they get from that?
Bystander : The winner will get a prize
Sardar : Then why are the others running?!

- Santa Singh tried to light his cigarette. He struck the first match on the seat of his pants, but it wouldn’t light. He tried another. It wouldn’t light. The third one finally lit. lit his cigarette, carefully blew the match out and put it in his vest pocket.
“What for did you put that match in your vest pocket?”
“That’s a good match. I’ll use it again.”

- Santa Singh got up in the middle of the night to answer the telephone.
“Is this one one one one?”, says the voice.
“No, this is eleven eleven.”
“Are you sure it isn’t one one one one?”
“No, this is eleven eleven.”
“Well, wrong number. Sorry to have got you up on the middle of the night.”
“That’s all right, mister. I had to get up to answer the telephone anyway.”

- What do you call a Sardar who drinks only beer? Just-beer Singh (‘T’ silent!).

- Two dogs, Rubi and Moti, and a Sardarji were sent to the outer space. The ground control issues commands “Rubi!” “Woof!” (it’s the barking sound)
“Press the red button.” “Woof! Woof!” “Moti!”
“Woof!” “Press the white button.” “Woof! Woof!” “Sardarji!” “Woof.”
Stop barking, feed the dogs and don’t touch anything!”

- Sardarji got the th child. He fills data in the birth certificate
“Mother: Sikh. Father: Sikh. Kid: Chinese.”
“How come you write “Chinese” when both parents are Sikh?”
” Aah, read a newspaper, it says that every th person born on the Earth now is a Chinese.”

- Once a Sardarji was travelling on a train. He felt sleepy so he gave the guy sitting opposite him on the train rupees to wake him up when the station arrived. This guy was a barber, and he felt that for Rupees, the Sardarji deserved more service. So, when the Sardarji fell asleep, the barber quietly shaved off his beard. When the station arrived, the Sardarji was woken up, and he went home. Reaching home, he went to wash his face, and suddenly screamed when he saw the mirror.
Said his wife ” What’s the matter?”
Replied he “The cheat on the train has taken my rupees and woken up someone else”

- Having lost his donkey a Sardarji, got down to his knees and started thanking God. A passerby saw him and asked, “Your donkey is missing; what are you thanking God for?” The Sardarji replied “I am thanking Him for seeing to it that I wasn’t riding the donkey at that time, otherwise I would have been missing too.

- How do you make a Sardar laugh on Saturday? Tell him a joke on Wednesday.

- Sardarji proposes to a woman. She says yes if you bring me a pair of crocodile boots. He sets off to Africa and disappears. Finally a search is being made, they find him hunting crocodiles and watch him killing a huge one. He walks over the reptile, checks its legs and angrily exclaims “st and *again* barefoot!”

- Santa: WHat is another difference between a mosquito and a fly?
Banta: A fly can fly but a mosquito cannt mosquito.

- banda bhagta howa aata hay aur Sardar se kehta hai
bhai jaldi jao tumharey ghar main talaab ka pani ghus gaya hay.

Sardar: Oye kion jhoot bolta hay, ghar ki chabi to meray paas hay.

- Sardar bar me ro raha tha. Bartender: Kyo ro rahe ho?
Sardar: Aur kya karu??
Jis ladki ko bhulana chahta hun uska naam hi yaad nahi aata.

- sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
sardar : Don’t worry, I have a one more.

- Sardar : What is the name of your car ?
Lady : I forgot the name, but is starts with “T”.
Sardar : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai.
Hamaara gaadi petrol se start hoti hai.

- Sardar was busy removing a wheel from his auto.
A man asks sardar why are you removing a wheel from your auto.
sardar : Cant you read the board.
Parking is only for wheeler

- Sardar ki mangni hoi, usey pata chala k uski mangaiter
ka kisi se koi affair nahi tha, us nay yeh keh ker mangni tor di
k jo kisi aur ki nahi ho saki wo meri kia ho gi?

- Aik Sardar apnay kandhay per aik totay (parrot) ko bitha ker jaa raha tha..
Kisi nay pocha:”Yeh kon sa janwar hai?
”tota(parrot) bola: “Sardar”

- night bijli chali gae…
SARDAR APNI BIVI SAY:
oye kam se kam pankha to chala day.
BiWI: kar di na phir sardaron wali baat…
pankha chalaingay to mombatti bujh nahin jayegi

- Aik Sardar kay han saal bad bacha hua.
Wo udas ho gaya.
Dost : Yaar udas kion ho?
Sardar : sal baad bacha huwa wo bhi itna sa.

- A sardar ji pulled out people from a burning house…
still he was in jail…….why?
coz all the were fire brigade staff !